rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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