Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
