We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize