I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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