Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
