In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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