Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
