Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
