Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
