Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
