His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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