I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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