He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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