And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
