What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
