every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
