My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
