So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
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