You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
