there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Couch. On fire.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
