hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize