You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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