There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
