I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
