her vagine was all disorganized.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
