You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
