Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
