You're so nebulous sometimes
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
