I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
