Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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