all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
