no you cant smoke seaweed
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
