Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You are the jesus of drinking
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
