meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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