If i come over, it means nothing
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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