people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
