You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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