At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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