What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize