The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
