tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
