belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize