Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
