Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
