carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
