We're facebook friends in real life
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
