I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
