smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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