she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
