so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
