Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
