If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Its about making memories worth repressing
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
