Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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