Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize