Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
the raccoons are back...
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