Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
