You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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