i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize