that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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