You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
