I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
