just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
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