I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
True strength comes from lack of pants
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
