We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
