ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
