You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
