She's JV to your varsity
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
