your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
